Some do it for fun, some do it for show. Some do it in tandem and some do it alone because they can’t get a qt 3.14 to do it with. Fapping won’t get you a girlfriend, but it’ll take the edge off for a few seconds.
>want a gf
>fap
>no longer want a gf
From the people who brought you 50 Great Names for Cum / Vagina / Penis / Breasts / Death and Drunk, this is 50 Great Names for Masturbation. Why YOLO when you can JOPO?
Names for masturbation
★ JOPO (Jack Off Pass Out)
★ Jackin’ the beanstalk
★ Beef stroganoff
★ Procrasturbation
★ Applying the hand brake
★ Badgering the witness
★ Cleaning your rifle
★ Making tummy pancakes
★ Painting the ceiling
★ Playing the skin flute
★ Choking the cyclops
Creamy names for masturbation
★ Making chowder
★ Milking the lizard
★ Stirring the batter
★ Dishonourable discharge
★ Disseminating
★ Churning butter
★ Chucking custard
More names for masturbation
★ Pumping the stump
★ Rubbing one out
★ Making jam
★ Unleashing the Kraken
★ Croaking the frog
★ Dancing around the maypole
★ Firing the flesh musket
★ Killing the kids
★ Pulling a Benoit
★ Turning Japanese
★ Tossing the salad
★ Jacking it in San Diego
★ Having a dirty handshake
Religious names for masturbation
★ Shaking hands with the devil
★ Reaming the demon
★ Warming the altar-boy’s dinner
★ Gurning at God
★ Seeing Allah
Meaty names for masturbation
★ Having a ham shank
★ Taking the sausage hostage
Ed Uncovered’s freshly whipped names for masturbation
★ Defragging
★ Making may-may
★ Private browsing
★ Furthering the patriarchy
★ Killing swimmers
★ Installing linux
★ Skipping foreplay
★ Grabbing Nando’s
★ Having a rage quit
★ Emptying the cache
Got a better name for fiddling the ferret? Stick it in the comms below. Ladies: you’ve not been forgotten. In Ed Uncovered’s next fiddy, we’ll be finding Nemo and diddling the Skittle in 50 Great Names for Female Masturbation. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise: this is what the internet was invented for. Now stop reading and go fap. You’ve earned it.
By Ed Uncovered
“Punching the clown!” How did that not make the list?
Beating the bishop
Shaking hands with the unemployed
Giving your penis a workout!!!
You forgot hand to man combat
What about grooming the schnauzer?
Tickling My Weewee
y09cdu