veggie dogs

The internet is a wonderful place. The sum of all human knowledge, it is a space where minds meet, theories float and matches are made. Great music; epic art; dank memes; they’re all here, posted on the web for you to rock out to, ‘mire hard and share harder.

But there’s another thing the internet is good for: finding hilarious names for taking a dump. If you’re reading these words from the bathroom while crimping off a length, take a bow – it’ll make it easier to wipe. But first, enjoy these sophisticated names for a Donald Trump, and remember: Shits are like snowflakes: every one’s unique…plus when you hold them they melt in your hand.


Names for crapping

mr hankey poo★ Anal puking

★ Assquake

★ Building a log cabin

★ Coiling some rope

★ Freeing the turtles

★ Growing a tail

★ Analyzing a log dump

★ Backing the trailer in

★ Baking a loaf

★ Baking some brownies

★ Baptising ______ [racial epithet]

★ Becoming one with the animal kingdom

★ Being anal-nonretentive

★ Big brown man knocking on the back door

★ Blowing mud

★ Bombing the Oval Office

★ Bunghole train has left the station


Lip-smacking names for doing a poo

★ Chopping a log

★ Coiling a steamernames for poo

★ Cooking a brown carrot

★ Cooking a butt burrito

★ Cooking up a pot of anal stew

★ Crimping off a length

★ Curling some pipe

★ Dirty birth

★ Downloading some brownware

★ Drilling for mud bunnies

★ Dropping a chocolate cobra

★ Dropping the kids off at the pool

names for shit★ Drowning the kittens

★ Exporting a cigar to Cuba

★ Filling the peanut butter jar

★ Full moon over troubled waters

★ Giving a [ethnic slur] a burial at sea

★ Greeting Mr Hankey

★ Grinding the beef

Moar names for doing a jobby

★ Hatching a new boss

★ Honking out a dirt snake

poo-cooking★ Launching a rectal rocket

★ Meeting the bald man with the cigar

★ Floating a corn canoe

★ Laying some brown carpet

★ Letting my people go

★ Letting the dog out

★ Making a deposit at the porcelain bank

★ Making a grunt sculpture

★ Making a Minnesota hand warmer

★ Making butt gravy

★ Making haggis

★ Making some trouser chilicrap the book

★ Microwaving a dachshund

★ Negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages

★ Offloading some freight

★ Painting the bowl

★ Paving the Hershey highway

★ Paying the plumber

★ Planting a steaming bouquet of brown roses

★ Pinching the head off a [ethnic slur]

★ Poking the turtle’s head out

★ Polluting the pond

★ Praying to Buddha

★ Backing the big brown caddy out of the garage

★ Putting fruit in the bowl

★ Releasing the hounds

★ Removing a butt tampon

★ Squeezing out a Hershey’s Kiss

★ Stocking the lake with brown trout

★ Unfurling a poopdedoop

Credit: World of Crap


Specialist terms for poopy sex time

Blumpkin: Getting a blowjob while taking a shit

Cleveland Steamer: When someone shits on their partner’s chest and then rocks back and forth like a steam roller

Alabama Hot Pocket: Taking a shit inside a girl’s vagina. And then having sex with it


poo in loo

By Ed Uncovered


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